Cindy Chambers from Questacon Exhibition Services in Fyshwick is involved in researching and designing interactive exhibitions for Questacon and other organisations, and in 'visitor testing' of prototype exhibits. She is also a copywriter for the graphic panels, educational support materials and marketing materials. Cindy will be talking about her approach to presenting scientific information in such a way that it grabs the attention of different types of audiences, ranging from primary school children to senior citizens.
Friends Lounge, National Library of Australia, 6 for 6.30 p.m.
- Next meeting
- Online content production & access
- Vice President's report
- Thinking about words
- A little of what you fancy
- End of year dinner
- Newsletter schedule
In his talk to the society's September general meeting, Paul Mullins of Pirion spoke about the transition from print publication and distribution to the management of online content for the web and making this content available in electronic and/or printed formats 24/7 to customers, particularly in the government area. The main points in Paul's informative talk on how Pirion responded to the demands of complementing this service with the digital revolution are reproduced below. Ed.
There has been a progressive downturn by government to communication in print. About 60 per cent of government publications sell less than 15 copies a year. As a consequence, AusInfo bookshops closed because the Australian Government came to the conclusion that the bookshops were not economically viable, management was neglected, there was a great reluctance to warehouse and distribute printed publications, and the push for e-government was growing.
Paul and his Pirion partner, Steve Murphy, visited about 80 departments and agencies and asked: 'Where's the pain?' What they heard excited them. No-one wanted to deal with customers or their complaints, engage in financial transactions, cut down more trees to print information that might never be accessed, or deal with warehousing and distribution, but they all wanted to fulfil the demand to go online and give their customers a choice to obtain an electronic and/or printed copy of their information and get help with the transition.
Knowing that Pirion had the logistical capacity, digital output devices and the required competencies, Paul and Steve saw a wonderful opportunity to rid government of its burden by offering an online 24/7 print-on-demand service alternative with easy access and promotion. In turn, government saw them as white knights.
Their clients are now webmasters and IT professionals. Customers want e-commerce and single-source multi-channel publishing options, to be in complete direct online control of content, good reporting, qualitative information on who accesses the site because they would like to know who is asking and where their information is going.
The Publications Register is all that is left of the AGPS and AusInfo. It's a fairly static site compared with the ABARE site which lists publications in subject areas, and identifies whether they are e- or p-articles or e- or p-books. Paul considers ABARE to be a very good site because it's well organised and easy to use.
Paul also spoke about Helium. It's the administration system for handling the content management area of websites - a content management system with a difference that works hand in hand with the Pirion Ausinfoshop online bookshop for delivering the information to the customers. It handles people (users and groups), products, subscriptions, latest releases, reporting, has a data importing facility and manages inventory - and the client stays in control.
Product management includes providing version control, a thumbnail of covers, large images, table of contents pages, miscellaneous links, sound and video bytes, and press releases. Users can download just the content they want and also order a hard copy of their selections.
Helium has an online search facility. Pirion would like to extend the search facility government wide, but it's too expensive at the moment.
Although Pirion have concentrated on helping government with the transition to print-on-demand, private sector clients such as magazine publishers have also shown interest.
Helen Topor
Our President, Claudia, has been ill, so I am filling in for her in this issue.
Can it be true that another year is almost over? Is it too early for me to steal Claudia's thunder and declare the year a success for the Society? For me some of the highlights have been our growth in membership, the fantastic success of EdEx, and our excellent financial situation. The committee is working on ways to build on this success for next year, and to develop a strategy for using some of our hard-earned financial resources for the benefit of members. One of the things we are keen to look at is a mentoring program, and we are awaiting with interest a proposal being prepared on this topic for CASE. This sounds as if it will be a good way for new and aspiring editors to gain experience in real editing projects under the guidance of an experienced editor.
Another project we are working on is the long-awaited reprint of the Freelance Register, which we expect to appear early next year. This is still a popular little publication and we receive regular requests for copies.
Ted Briggs
'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said in a rather scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less.'
But in that case, how was Alice supposed to know that by 'glory' Humpty Dumpty meant a 'nice knock-down argument'? Fortunately not everybody has the same cavalier attitude to the meanings of words. And even if we confuse two words and use the wrong one ('towing the line' has appeared twice recently in The Canberra Times), people may laugh but they generally understand.
We assume that every word in every language will have a meaning, understandable by others who know that language. The word may of course have several meanings, and the right one may become clear only in a sentence. Indeed, the meaning might change from one sentence to the next, or even within the sentence: 'Did you really mean to be so mean to her?'
So why not start with the meaning of mean? Not, please note, 'the meaning of meaning', which leads us straight into philosophical and linguistic quicksands. At the purely practical level, mean is a word with a variety of quite different meanings. It can appear as a verb, a noun or an adjective, and these have quite separate pedigrees.
One meaning is obviously the one used here: relating a word to a thing or an idea. If we come across a word new to us, or in a foreign language, we probably say, 'What does it mean?', and this seems a very reasonable question.
This use of mean stems from the German word meinen, which nowadays more often refers to holding an opinion, in a phrase such as 'What do you mean by that?' But this phrase sounds very similar to English usage, and the similarity pops up again in such sentences as 'Do you mean the tall man?' when pointing to someone in a photo. Another example might be 'She means well', when she didn't quite manage to achieve what she intended. Somewhere nearby is the origin of the word mind in phrases such as 'To my mind ...'
Mean in the sense of inferior has ties to another closely related German word, gemein, meaning common, low or dirty. Hence the mean streets in slums, and if you are mean to me that's a bit of a dirty trick, too.
The other strand of mean's pedigree is French, from the word moyen - a word that itself has two meanings, both of which have come through into English. One is mean in the sense of a midpoint or average, in turn coming from the Latin word medianus, from medius meaning central. Such combinations as meanwhile or in the meantime are using mean in the sense of the midpoint or the period between two moments in time. But from the other meaning of the same French word we can also find the means to achieve our goals.
If you can read some French and are interested to see what the French themselves have to say about their words, Le Trésor de la Langue Française (The Treasure of the French Language) is now online free of charge at <http://zeus.atilf.fr/tlf.htm>. In its way this is as big an achievement as the Oxford English Dictionary (which is not free). It is absolutely stuffed with every conceivable example of usage, but it lacks the OED's detailed and highly accessible etymologies. However, it also has links to the dictionaries of the French Academy, which could be a bonus.
By the way, 'towing the line' - what on earth did the perpetrators think it meant?
Peter Judge
Is 'strong and plain' redundancy? Or are they different concepts?
In the July 2003 edition of The Canberra Editor, I wrote about 'some aspects of style that we need to pay attention to, in order to make writing plain for business readers'. I discussed controlling sentence length, using more active voice than passive, using parallel structure in bullet point lists and using everyday words - plain English.
Plain English, to me, is based on sound grammar. Sound grammar tells me to make subject and verb agree in number, to avoid redundancy, to avoid starting a sentence with an empty 'it', to avoid ambiguity, to use standard spelling, punctuation and sentence structures - for a start. Sound grammar isn't enough, however. To be clear to the busy reader, we need to observe at least the four points listed in the paragraph above.
Let's take this to a slightly different level. Current literature makes much of 'strong' versus 'weak' language - not only in business writing, but in everyday conversation as well.
'Strong' sentences are both grammatically sound and written in plain English. On top of that, some points come in for special mention.
Revise weak 'be' verbs
A 'be' verb can be strong, as in John is better at maths than I am.
The weak 'be' verb is in such sentences as The contribution of this group is to the overall wellbeing of the whole company and in passive constructions such as The ball was kicked by the boy.
These can be made strong by eliminating the 'be' verb altogether. In the first example, look for a noun, usually ending in -ion, that has been derived from a verb, and then use that strong verb: This group contributes to the overall wellbeing of the whole company.
In the second example, turn the passive voice into active: The boy kicked the ball.
Avoid starting sentences with 'It is' and 'There is'
There is nothing wrong with 'there is' when used appropriately, as in this sentence. However, the phrase can lead to wordiness and is empty of meaning.
Weak: It is essential that you complete the report today.
Improved: You must complete the report today.
Weak: There are at least two solutions set out in the textbook.
Improved: The textbook gives at least two solutions.
Rewrite agentless passives as direct, strong active voice
Weak: Assignments are graded according to the criteria set out in the course guide.
Improved: Tutors grade assignments according to the criteria set out in the course guide. (Now we know who will do the grading!)
Instructions, too, are more likely to be followed if they are short, snappy and in active voice:
Weak: This medication should be taken before meals.
Improved: Take this medication before meals.
Unpacking long sentences
Sentences that ramble have no place in business writing. Rambling occurs in two main ways: by adding on and by embedding. Here is an example of a sentence - yes, it is one sentence - containing both add-ons and qualifications.1 The game is to spot the joining devices:
Would any person who on Friday 24 January 2004 witnessed the accident between a yellow and blue motor vehicle and a box trailer approximately 15 km from Canberra at approximately 3.00 to 3.15 p.m. or the driver of the truck with the Apex Building Company sign at the front who was in the vicinity of the accident on that day or any other driver who may be able to help identify the driver of the said truck or the fact that the truck was in the vicinity at that time please contact Messrs Justice, Scales & Company, Solicitors of Canberra on [phone number].
That sentence is too confusing for anyone to respond to the solicitors' plea for help. My solution is to look for the main points and make every main point a new sentence:
On Friday 24 January 2004, an accident occurred between a yellow and blue car and a box trailer. It happened about 15 km from Canberra at about 3.00 p.m. Did you see this accident?
Or were you driving an Apex Building Company truck on that date? Such a truck was seen near the accident.
Or can you help identify the driver of the Apex truck? Did you see the Apex truck near the accident?
If you can help, please contact Messrs Justice, Scales & Company, Solicitors of Canberra on [phone number].
Many factors contribute to the strength or weakness of a sentence, and sometimes several problems appear in the one sentence. The following sentence was sent to me as an example:2
Bennett, by refusing to believe that the coastal route was a main approach, neglected the defence of the area.
Here the subject Bennett is separated from the verb neglected by a long string of words. It would certainly be more telling to unite subject and verb, and one solution is:
By refusing to believe that the coastal route was a main approach, Bennett neglected the defence of the area.
Another solution that might appeal, depending on the context of the sentence, is to break the sentence into two sentences, and return the subject Bennett to the beginning:
Bennett refused to believe that the coastal route was a main approach. He therefore neglected the defence of the area.
The weak 'I'
An interesting comment on weak versus strong language is that people who use the pronoun 'I' too much in speech tend to weaken themselves. Take a statement like I have a real problem with Mandy; she never finishes anything on time. Who exactly has the problem? It looks as if the speaker has the problem, whereas in fact Mandy has the problem. Why not say so? Mandy has a real problem; she never finishes anything on time.
And another one: I'm not surprised there are lots of flies in the room. I noticed the door was left open for a long time. Somehow, this use of 'I' shifts the blame for something onto the person who made the statement - it's weak; it's not assertive. What's wrong with being strong? Of course there are lots of flies in the room. The door was left open for a long time. Blame is shifted off the speaker.
So, what's the difference between 'plain' and 'strong'? Not a lot. To me, it's a different slant on the same thing.
______________________________
1 from E.M. Murphy, Effective writing: plain English
at work, Pitman, Melbourne, 1989, p. 84.
2 from Ara Nalbandian, personal communication (email 9
August 2004).
Other references:
Air War College, Communication Skills, Writing and Editing Tips, viewed 2 October 2004, <http://www.au.af.mil/au/awc/awcgate/army/writing_tips.htm>
Johnson E, 1992, 'The ideal grammar and style checker' in TEXT Technology, 2.4(July 1992), 3-4, viewed 2 October 2004, <http://www.unix.dsu.edu/~johnsone/ideal.html>
McMurrey D A, nd, Online technical writing: power-revision techniques - sentence-level revision, viewed 2 October 2004 <http://www.io.com/~hcerxres/tcm1603/acchtml/hirev2.html>
Elizabeth M. Murphy
The Canberra Society of Editors' end of year feast will be held in the Drawing Room of University House at the Australian National University on the last Wednesday in November.
Cost will be between $35 and $40.
Details at this month's meeting and in the November newsletter, including announcement of an exciting and entertaining guest speaker.
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For the newsletter of... |
Copy deadline is |
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November 2004 |
30 October |
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February 2005 |
30 January |
The Canberra Editor is published by Canberra Society of
Editors,
PO Box 3222, Manuka ACT 2603.
© Canberra Society of Editors 2004. ISSN 1039-3358
Email contributions, using Word for Windows (essential), to: ara.nalbandian@defence.gov.au
If by snail mail, then send them on a 3.5 inch disk, to Canberra Society of Editors, PO Box 3222, Manuka ACT 2603. If mailing, always provide a printout as well.
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